September 25

When Even The Small Changes Are Difficult To Make

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A few weeks ago I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, so my health coach suggested I try the 4-7-8 breath daily. It’s a really short practice – inhale through the nose for 4, hold for 7, exhale through the mouth for 8. Repeat 3-4 times max. I’m fully aware of all the benefits of breath practice.

And still, for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it for the first few days.

It’s a 2-minute practice, that I know will be helpful to me, and still, I found excuses not to do it. I felt guilty about it and ashamed of how little will-power I obviously had. I felt this resistance and couldn’t understand why.

But then, while lying in Savasana at the end of a yoga class in my lunch break, I just did it. I was lying there anyway and had to breathe too ;-), so it was easy.

The next morning I was sitting in my car on my commute to work and I was getting more and more frustrated as I was stuck in traffic and barely moving. I had just dropped my daughter at the daycare, which gets me emotional even after 2 years, and now I was also about to be late for work. I noticed how I was feeling and took a deep breath, counted to 4, held for 7 and let a deep sigh for eight. Then did that twice more. The cars in front of me did not start moving quicker but I felt my shoulders, neck, and jaw relax a bit. Since then I’ve done the practice almost every day. 

Since then I’ve done the practice almost every day. 

I do forget sometimes, but I’ll do it every time I think about it (takes only a minute!) and if I’m feeling stressed. I’ve found following the 5-second rule (by Mel Robbins) works really well. And, once you get started, it does get easier with time. When we build momentum it’s always easier to keep going. I’ve had similar experiences with sticking to my workouts as well as painting. If I miss a day or two, coming back to my routine is not so difficult, but everything longer makes sticking to it so much more difficult.

Often just knowing that something is good for us is not enough to enact a change, no matter how ridiculously small and easy the step we have to take is. Change is not a one-time event or a momentary decision. You DO have to make the decision that you want to change, but this in itself, will not make you change magically. Building new habits is an actual neurological process, in which every time we repeat an action we build and strengthen neural pathways. So we shouldn’t feel frustrated but rather be patient with ourselves and just stick to the minimum action we can handle at the moment as not to lose the momentum.


Tags

breathing, changes, resistance


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