Spirituality for the busy and frazzled: 8 quick and easy tips to boost your wellness

A couple of months ago I found myself feeling down and drained with no apparent reason. Yes, I do have a lot on my plate with family and job and small everyday problems, but I considered (and still do) myself happy with my life. And yet, something was missing.

In August 2017 I began a year-long training program at the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy. We kicked off with the foundations of Positive Psychology, and one of the first assignments was to do the VIA Character Survey and submit a short write-up on our top and bottom strengths. The classification is only based on how often we use the strengths, not if we have them or not. So the top ones are our “signature” ones, our “core identity”. The bottom ones we do not use as often or don’t come as natural to us. The basic idea is that using our signature strengths in a balanced way may contribute to an increased sense of well-being and a more fulfilling life.

My top strengths were exactly as I expected. My bottom ones didn’t surprise me as well, with one exception. Namely, Spirituality! I was almost offended. This could not be true? The survey questions must be flawed!? I didn’t want to accept this result.

But it got me thinking. Was I indeed living my spirituality or was I only thinking of myself as spiritual? And what does spirituality mean anyways? Do I need it in my life? Or is it a waste of time? I have no time anyways…?

The seed of the doubt was already planted.

I got back to life as usual but started asking myself often – am I spiritual? I slowly realized and had to admit to myself that I had indeed taken spirituality out of my life.

I was too busy, and in my quest to become as efficient as possible, I had decided to cut out everything that wasn’t absolutely necessary. And, even though I was interested in the mystical and esoteric while I was younger, I had become more skeptical with the time.

I had stopped doing yoga. I figured targeted workouts are a better use of my limited time.

I had started a meditation practice several times. I managed to sustain it for 30, even 40 days at a time but eventually fell out of the wagon.

I still enjoyed self-improvement books and podcasts, as I saw them as more practical and not as “mystical”.

After a couple of weeks of contemplation, I decided that I needed some kind of spirituality back in my life.

But what?

And how could I reconcile that with my proof-and-data-loving mind?

And what is spirituality exactly?

I loved the definition of spirituality by Christina Puchalski, MD, Director of the George Washington Institute for Spirituality and Health. She describes spirituality as “… the aspect of humanity that refers to the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose and the way they experience their connectedness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, and to the significant or sacred.”

What I felt was missing from my hectic and stressful life was something to bring me back to the moment and in my body. Stop and smell the flowers, as they say.

Spirituality is personal. Everything that helps us feel and express meaning, purpose, and connectedness qualifies. When was the last time you felt at peace? What were you doing? Were you alone or with other people?

Spending time in nature can give us a feeling of meaning, purpose, and connectedness.

Or looking in the eyes of your child or partner.

Listening to favorite music, dancing, admiring beautiful art, or creating art yourself can help feel and express meaning, purpose, and connectedness.

Caring for others, even doing your job could do that for you if you’re incredibly lucky.

You decide.

I thought back on all the things I had tried and experimented with over the years. I was looking for the ones that brought me serenity, calmness, and compassion for me and others. I’ve always loved quiet mornings and alone time. I’d love to have 2 hours in the morning all for myself. That is not possible for me at this point in my life, so I decided to commit to a few things that only take a couple of minutes at a time and which I can spread throughout my day.

• 4-7-8 Breath – My FMCA coach taught me this technique. It only takes a minute or two: inhale for four, hold the breath for seven and exhale through the mouth for eight. Repeat 3 to 4 times. I like to do this several times during the day when I happen to remember, often when I’m waiting for something, am feeling stressed, or when I’m driving. Driving is a major stress factor for me. I’ve also done it while in Savasana during yoga class. It is the perfect 2-minute meditation for me, short and effective, so no excuses.
• “How am I feeling right now?” – I’d ask myself this question and quickly scan my body and become aware if I’m feeling stressed or angry, if I’m tensing my shoulders. I have a colorful post-it on my desktop to remind me to stop for a few seconds once in awhile and become aware and more mindful.
• Inspiration and food for the soul – I love reading (mostly non-fiction) but don’t have much time for it – half an hour at most, after dinner or before bed. I often listen to uplifting and inspiring audiobooks or podcasts on my commute. There are also plenty of spiritual and self-development videos on YouTube. I love to have them play in the background while I put on my makeup in the morning.
• Creativity – I try to spend 15 – 30 minutes most days painting. I may also do a quick sketch on a post-it when I have a moment at work. I also love doodling when I’m trying to solve a problem. I drew a rose a few weeks ago and put it on my computer screen – it still makes me smile when I look at it.
• Gratitude – Did you know that studies show that gratitude results in better sleep (quality and duration)? I’d sometimes write a few things I’m grateful for in my planner in the evening, and sometimes I just make a mental note.
• Journaling – I love using my planner to set my three most important tasks for the week/day. It gives me focus and purpose. I also sometimes write down some things that touched me in a way on that day, as well as things I’m grateful for. I also have a pocket Moleskine I carry in my purse, and will journal in it when I feel the need. We process thoughts and emotions differently when we write them down, engaging the analytical left side of the brain. Journaling is also a great stress reliever.
• Being kind – to yourself and others. It doesn’t take much and is proven to increase your sense of well-being. Sometimes even a smile can brighten up the day of someone.
• Bonus Tip: Movement – I’ve been a home exerciser since my teenage years. At the moment I enjoy doing pilates, barre, and yoga. I aim to workout 3-4 hours a week first thing in the morning, but I don’t beat myself up if I miss a workout. Sometimes I’m too tired, and I’d rather get some much-needed sleep. Workouts are good and necessary, but even more important is that we stay active during the day. My Fitbit reminds me every hour to make at least 250 steps. I work a desk job, so I just climb the stairs in our office building up and down. It takes me about 2 minutes and four floors to get to 250 steps, so no excuses. 🙂 I also go for a small walk at lunchtime. If I still don’t have my 10k steps by the evening, I’d get on my rebounder at home while listening to music – a great mood-booster.

These are a just a few ideas, which I have found helpful. Spirituality includes a vast range of beliefs and practices. It’s completely natural that some of them speak to you, while others make you roll your eyes and look for the nearest exit. I am a fan of the practical approach – take what works for you, and leave the rest. Spirituality is not necessarily a mystical, esoteric or woo-woo experience unless you want it to be. Which is, of course, fine, if it makes you feel better.

But we all as humans need something to give us meaning, purpose and belonging.

And we can do that in just a couple of minutes at a time.